I am just plain stupid, that's all.

I don't know if i have the chance to get you back or not. Because to me, all the things you said to me is still echoing in my head and i still believe them. Although i am shocked and hurt when you told me that you don't have feelings towards me anymore, and you made me realize that i really can't keep you by my side when your heart is with someone else already. But, i still couldn't let you go away from my heart. I don't know why, i just don't know why...although you said it clearly that you don't love me anymore. I understand that when you decided to say those things to me, i am already gone from your life. I wrote letters when you are not here, hoping to give them to you but now they are burnt to crisp already. I tried to let you go, but my chest feels really hurt when i do that. I really don't know if i should wait for you to come back to my life, honestly i have lost all my trust on other girls, depending on them makes me feel unsafe now. To me, you were my pillar of support which i waited for so long but now you disappeared in just minutes. I am afraid that i won't be able to treat you the same way as i treat you before. I am so lost right now, i wanted to have you back yet i feel so hurt when you are gone and i want to get rid of that pain. I just can't stop laughing at myself, i feel so pathetic. 

I will keep reminding myself that no matter what i do, i can't change your mind and heart. I also understand that there is no hope for me to have you back. But still, i am just plain stupid to hope that you might come back to me one day, that's all.